We always want what’s best for our kids. We want them to grow and develop into men and women who are independent and strong, who have their own minds and who are self-like. It’s too bad then that we often turn out to be their greatest rivals, watching over all their actions and shielding them from life’s realities.
In these cases, we may have the best intentions, but the unfortunate reality is that when we constantly act on their behalf, we do little more than hamper their freedom and trust.
There are a few sets of skills that self-reliant kids develop, they are:
• Cognitive (e.g., information gathering, analysis, decision making);
• Emotional (e.g., regulation of sadness, frustration, anger);
• Behavioural (e.g., studying, working);
• Interpersonal (e.g., social skills, teamwork, communication);
• Practical (e.g., do their laundry, cook meals, manage their finances).
Here are a few things that one of the top CBSE schools Coimbatore, SSVM World School encourages the parents to do.
GIVING CHILDREN A VOICE
Always listen to your children to what they have to say on any topic. So they feel, that they are an important member of the family and their opinion matters to you. When you give the power of choice that can affect them directly, like young children have two types of vegetables to choose from; older children can choose what to eat once a week. They can choose their sports, hobbies, and mates when they get older. Let them make their own mistakes and learn from them.
NO PRESSURE
The parents should not pressure children’s choices. Children will follow their interests. In Dutch culture, completing a class is not shameful and not going to college, but acquiring an ability is not, either. As long as their children have a future insight where they are happy and able to support them financially, the parents are content, feeling as they have done their job correctly.
REFRAME CHORES AS HOUSEHOLD CONTRIBUTIONS
Make your child understand that contributing to the family is all about doing household chores. Start by asking your child to perform simple tasks such as cleaning and organizing the cupboards, helping you set the table for a meal or helping to dry the line clothes. The reframing of household tasks as contributions helps children to develop a sense of responsibility.
PRAISE THE EFFORT
If your child dresses up on his own or cleans the mess in his bedroom, compliment him with encouraging phrases such as, “Isn’t it great that you’ve got yourself dressed? or “That is a fabulous job of cleaning your room!” This will make him happy. Never discourage him by saying, “You might have done a better job. It still looks very messy.” What we are trying to do is to empower our child to be independent; with practice, he will achieve excellence.
STEP BACK GRADUALLY
My kids love to work in the kitchen. But being an over-protective mother, I was initially worried that during cooking they might hurt themselves. So, whether it was showing them how to roll chapattis or prepare a cup of tea or getting ready for a quick meal, at first, whether I or my husband was around to make sure they were healthy when trying to do things alone. As a mother, teach your child how to do it on her own and slowly step back once you are sure she can do it all by herself.
